alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
