its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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