Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
