Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
