508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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