The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
