So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
