so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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