If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
