If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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