Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize