sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
