finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
