We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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