I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can't turn off my feet"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
