i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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