absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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