There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
