Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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