"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
