so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
