Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So many bounce houses so little time
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
