He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
