I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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