i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
and she was petting her beer can
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
