I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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