You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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