im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
