I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
