New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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