Don't make out with my wife yet
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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