Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
