Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
