Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
