I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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