I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
