when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Found the puke drawer
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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