okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
