p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
