kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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