Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
