ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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