Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
