remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
