Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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