Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
