What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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