foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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