I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
