Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize