I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
