what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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