Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
