I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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