So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
