At least make sure they are 18
Why
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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