you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
