i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
