mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
