just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
