OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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